May 18th, 2012 10:12pm

It gets so hard trying to grasp the human mind. I want to believe that there is a good intention in people's decision, and that they do and say things to you because they honestly care about you, but it is not true. It is all about self interest, anytime you want to go and they want you to stay it is just because you will make it easier on them. It is not about your happiness, it is about what they will loose once you go away. How can you tell someone that you are making the wrong decision? If that choice is what makes you happy and betters yourself, you made the right decision, and only you can decide if that was a poor or great choice. I am tired living my life to satisfy others rather than  focusing on what makes me happy. I feel stuck at a job that pretends to care for me, but they only care about what a great asset I am to the company rather than friend. I feel stuck, tired, overworked, and under accomplished. I need a way out, I am looking for a way out.

May 13th, 2012. 10:24 pm

There's a connection between the number 1024 and me. It is that time when I always look at the clock. I have no idea if I'm waiting for it, but it happens and I stare. I wonder what makes me, is it that much of a habit now to look at the clock then that I cannot even begin to realize that it is a habit? I am tired too. All the time. It never leaves me, and I can continue to sleep through everything. I feeling a bit disconnected. I've been trying to keep a journal but cannot find the energy to write in one, so I figured since I am on here all the time, why not start talking about my thoughts and tracking them on here for the time being. Maybe it will help me, even a little help would do.