Bedroom Eyes

        As I laid there looking at where you slept, the contours of the mattress and sheets leaving the impression of where you used to be, where I wished you were now. How the majority of the hours we shared, we slept, it is an action that cannot compare to anyone else. I kept wanting your body to fill the gaps again, and that I would be staring at your face rather than the mundane wall that used to outline your body.
        My bed has an open spot now. There's a wall built in the middle, and it is not something I can climb over. I wonder what it would look like with its wall torn down and seeing a face on the other side. How many faces will fill this spot? How many already have? All the past people that have laid on the other side of my bed, I can still imagine their faces. Now they are all looking at someone else and I have a burnt orange wall filling the void. What is it that makes someone feel like they are the world to someone else? What does it feel like to want to talk to someone all the time, or how must it feel like to have someone wanting to speak to you at all times. How the most minute of occurrences can become the most important.
        I have these things happen to me throughout the day and I just want to tell someone, and then I gander through my phone, through my contacts and hold it inside, because in the end there is no one that I know that would appreciate it. I dream lately of a day that I will experience someone going out of their way for me. Of the people that have laid in my bed, none have held true to me. I want to make someone feel like the world, but I want to know what being someone's world is as well. It is not that I am sitting around waiting, nor do I pout that I have not had this, it is something extraordinary that I am curious about.
        There was a time that I was loved forever, there was a time that I would never be forgotten, people can tell you anything they want but I will be a skeptic because believing has become so hard to do.
       "You used to call just to tell me to look at the stars,
         to see how pretty Venus and Mars are.
         But now I don't even know where you are."
     
         It's hard to see where venus and mars are this time of the year.