I looked back at the words I wrote down months ago. It is
experience evoking those past feelings, that you do not doubt yourself that
they were strong, but it is also funny how you do not have to feel that way any
longer. I do feel different, but I guess I still find so much truth in the
past. I cannot deny any of it, what has happen and what I had felt. I feel now
that I do not have to try, nor do I want to. For a second I thought I was hung
up a little bit and got screwed over once again, but seeing things make it
easy. Sometimes you just need that one thing to make the realization that it
was nothing to begin with. If only in the beginning you could see that it was
nothing then you could compose yourself at the end. Unfortunately for myself
and the other romantics out there this is not an option because we will
inevitably hold the naiveté’s of a mind stunted cognitively. We cannot think
forward, in truth, but we can in fantasy. I dropped my veil and have nothing
but the world and truth in front of me. There are no expectations here. Now I
have found myself content on being alone, thanks to an image. Being screwed
over is an excuse, things do not have to work out all the time, if they did we
would all be with our first love.
