A glimpse on the inside

And you asked why
tears were falling from my eyes,
when you wanted to know what scares me the most,
when near three years ago,
this year would make you twenty-two,
I saw the last of you.
Nothing escapes the dread I held,
the rush I felt,
the pain I saw,
but could not help,
Nineteen and on the bed,
tubes and wires,
the only things that made you not dead.
With your senior picture beside you,
your dad crying and telling me to
"Please don't remember him like this,
you knew who he was,
he's that picture,
he's the one thing we will always love."
Your body was broken,
I got my last hug in,
1200 miles apart,
a final goodbye,
my best friend,
how the years have gone by.
The car we once drove
stays parked outside your garage door.
Us friends,
we bear the weight everyday alone,
but I love you in my thoughts,
I know I won't be scared as long as I'm still holding on.

May

I may never be the beauty you desire, I may never speak the right words, my love may not be the greatest, it may only be comparable to the whoever could be next. My knees may be scraped, legs covered with scattered bruises. I may have cracked my rib cage open, I might have let my heart fall. I may have removed my cranial protection and I may have given you my every thought. I may continue to try to give you every piece more of me, but you only let me continue to fail. I tried what I thought I composed of my best, I thought no one else could be anything near to next. I may not have gotten you but I gave all that I had to you.